Giving birth and finally getting to see the little person that you’ve been dreaming of, only to have him whisked away and have no idea what could be wrong with this perfect being.. it hurts.
Leaving the hospital empty-handed, leaving your baby in the NICU struggling to do what should come naturally. To eat, to breathe… it hurts.
Seeing other people’s babies go home, maybe even when they were born after yours. Seeing other people talk about how their babies keep them up at night when you’d give anything to have your baby at home… it hurts.
The constant beeping in the sterile white of the hospital reminding you that they can’t do it on their own yet. The beeps that make you want to smash the whole machine to pieces, but you don’t because it’s helping your baby survive… it hurts.
Surviving on a couple of hours of sleep so that you can be there for them in an attempt to be as involved as possible…. it hurts.
Attempting to pump milk as much as possible no matter how uncomfortable it is and how much it takes time away from everyone else in your life because it’s the only thing you can control … it hurts.
Putting on a strong face when people see you without your newborn and ask “How much longer?” but you have no idea. And it brings you to tears to even think of it, much less try to answer their question… it hurts.
Getting a glimpse of your baby while giving him a bath, and see how beautiful he is without all the tubes and wires… there is hope!
Seeing a completely empty bottle attached to your baby’s bed with a note from the nurse saying “I finished my whole feeding! No more tube!”… it’s getting better!
Walking into the NICU to see your baby has been moved to an open-air bassinet because they are getting bigger and able to keep themselves warm… it’s getting better!
Being there for the moment their oxygen tubes are removed because they can finally do it on their own… it’s getting better!
You only need one more day of no apneas or Bradys to show that your little fighter is strong enough now.. and they get through that last day with no episodes! It’s getting so much better!
Then comes time to put this amazing little miracle in a car seat that seems WAY too big to test if they are strong and mature enough now to make it home… and they pass! The BEST feeling ever… your baby is coming home!!
If you have twins in the NICU, hang on there, Mama. Things seem tough now but it will get better. My twins were in the NICU for two weeks and I experienced all the above emotions. They are now 3 1/2, healthy and happy! ~ Editor, Alison
This is a guest post by a fellow mom of multiples. If you wish to contribute and share your multiples story/ tips, please head to our Submissions page for more details! This post has been syndicated with permission to Multiples Illuminated.
Stacy Bressler is an avid outdoorswoman, wife, and mother of three under three, the youngest being 6-month-old twin girls. She writes about all things motherhood, including surviving it with (most) of her sanity intact as well as raising mini adventurers. Navigating life through the lens of humor and positivity, she chronicles it all in her blog, The Crazy Outdoor Mama. Find Stacy on Facebook, Pinterest, and Etsy.