Everything I read about being a mom to twins told me that it would be difficult, scary and time-consuming, and it is. There are days when both kids have a fever, and just want to be held after screaming most of the night. There are days when the amount of vomit coming out seems to be far more than the food that actually went in. There are days when 4:30 AM rolls around, and I can’t believe that I’m getting out of bed to feed our little rugrats. But, there are a few things that I instituted in my life right after we got the kids home from the hospital that we’ve stuck to, that are really helping make this journey fun, memorable (of course, that is, if the sleep deprivation will allow me to actually keep any memories), and rewarding.
1. Leave the house EVERY day.
I think there have been two days since the kids were out of the hospital that I have not left the house. The majority of the time, I take the kids with me. We often start our day (after the 4:30 AM feed/ pump) with a walk or a run to one of our favorite coffee shops. Sometimes we go with people, sometimes not. It is a great way to start the day and the kids seem to really love the stroller at that time of day. Other days I go out by myself to the grocery store, or to the doctor (oh joy!), play in a soccer game, or just to run a quick errand. I leave the kids with their lovely grandparents who have been awesome about helping me achieve my goal of leaving the house once a day.
2. Keep a schedule.
This is still a work-in-progress, but we are getting there. We finally have a regular feeding schedule that has allowed me to organize my days a bit better than when we were just feeding willy-nilly. The nap schedule is still a moving target, but I hope to nail that down soon. Keeping a strict (feeding) schedule has really helped me plan what I’m doing each day, when I should make appointments, what time is most helpful (and not helpful) for people to come over to help, and when I can plan to eat!
3. Accept help!
This is something I’ve never been good at. I don’t like asking for help, and I don’t like accepting help. I’m not good at delegating. But, I’m learning! I’m learning in small ways, learning that it’s okay to let someone else do my laundry or dishes, because when the heck am I going to get them done? I’m learning that when someone shows up to help, let them do what they’re comfortable with. My dad, for instance, doesn’t really love changing diapers (I know, can you believe it?), but he is awesome at doing dishes and steps right up to the sink when he arrives and goes to town! Also, if someone is coming over and offers to go to the store for you, ask for Oreos, always ask for Oreos.
4. Sleep whenever possible.
Notice I did not say, “sleep when the babies are sleeping.” It’s impossible to sleep every time the babies are sleeping. On days after we’ve had a particularly bad night, I try to take a nap at some point. Sometimes it’s when the babies are sleeping, sometimes it’s when someone else is here lending a helping hand and entertaining babies. Usually, all I need is a little power nap, about 20 minutes, to recharge my batteries, and the rest of the day doesn’t look so bleak.
5. Have a better attitude.
There have been a few days that have started out pretty terrible, and I was ready to throw in the towel, or burp cloth, as the case may be, and give up (although I don’t know how I’d actually do that since I love my babies to pieces). And then, I take a deep breath and readjust my attitude. Each day will be different. Each day will have difficult moments and joyful, easy moments. Each day will come to an end. I’m pretty sure the screams of two babies never actually killed anyone, and, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? Thanks for that quote Kelly Clarkson, you’re so deep.
This is a guest post written by a fellow mom of multiples and has been syndicated with permission to Multiples Illuminated. If you wish to contribute and share your multiples story/ tips, please head to our Submissions page for more details!
Alden Gilligan (NM) is the mom of girl/boy twins born at 31 weeks.She delivered after being diagnosed with HELLP syndrome in an otherwise completely healthy pregnancy. Her twins were in the NICU for 78 days and are now almost 2 years old and doing well. Alden is the wife of an orthopedic surgeon resident, daughter of camp director parents, and sister to two brothers. She’s spent most of her life living in New Mexico with a quick stay in San Antonio and a few years in San Francisco. She loves living under the blue New Mexico skies. Alden jokes that she is “retired” but is a stay at home mom who enjoys spending time outdoors with her kids, baking, playing soccer, and blogging in her spare time. Follow Alden on her blog You’re the Heart of Us, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.
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